Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
