I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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