Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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