I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
