benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize