I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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