he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
