The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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