my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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