Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
