Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
