youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
