I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
