Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
