yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize