11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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