I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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