so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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