I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
