I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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