In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
