just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
