he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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