ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He did a backflip because drugs
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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