I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
