How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
