You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
