Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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