So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
