mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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