i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
