I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
