I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
