I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
