Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this is an emotional support booty call
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