Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
