I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
