just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
