when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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