I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize