the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
