Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
