I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
