i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My dick has a subreddit
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize