If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and she was petting her beer can
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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