My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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