6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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