Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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