but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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