my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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