they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize