Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
