i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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