i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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