Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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