I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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