if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
